The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

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This evening, there’s a beautiful sun setting the skyline.  It’s breathtaking.  I don’t care what anyone says, but I still think nothing beats this sight, and in this moment, here in this world and in the human world.  I used to wonder so much when I’d wake up from this seven year long dream, and return to the life I once knew.  As of late, I’ve begun to just accept this fate for what it is, and that I have no control over it, and I must try to make the best of it.  Attitude is certainly everything.  I’m sitting here at this cafe, with much to ponder.  A pink lemonade with a floating lemon, waiting to be sipped on sits in front of me.  I have much to think about.  Seven years, I don’t think many can say they’ve stayed the same.  I will get into one recent experience that hasn’t seem to escape my thoughts.  It feels much like a curse, as if this is going to be a lasting memory.  Even though my mind says to let it go, my heart can’t seem to and still holds onto this memory, as if there’s some deeper meaning to it than what it is.  It’s as if I want to find out something much more complex to the experience, and a deeper hope that the outcome was much different than what had occurred.  One thing about this world is that events are still yet unpredictable, much like the human world.  Things are similar, but the only vast differences are the ways that humans have to strive for living daily.  They age, they have to eat, sleep and proceed with basic daily survival.  Here, as an avatar form, we don’t have to worry about any of that.  Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to miss all of that, but I can’t even remember what it even means to be hungry, or feel a basic need.  Whereas here, people just appear to have food out of strange habit or a passing event, yet doesn’t even fulfill a need.  When I’ve asked others why avatars eat or drink, I get smiles and nods and change of subject.  It’s like a stupid question to ask, there’s no answer that would make sense, and it’s just something that everyone just does.

It was March 11, around 2:54 pm PDT, and I was just minding my own business, sitting and thinking as usual.  I don’t know why, but I suddenly passed along a text image of a random face to him.  Rarely does this happen, but he calls me by accident and we get into a conversation.  There’s something unusual about him, and we talk like long lost friends reconnecting.  There’s something different about him, and for days on end, spending time with him through conversations is all that matters to me.  I want nothing more than this connection, and it seems to fill that curiosity for more within me.  I don’t know how to explain this, but it’s like a satisfaction that exists in both this world and the human world.  One day, he tells me he’s sick and doesn’t feel well.  Perhaps I was over thinking, but I didn’t bother him after that.  Since that day, I have not heard from him and no attempts to contact me have been made.  It’s a rather disappointment, and I still can not seem to get this experience out of me.  It leaves me understanding that on a basic level, it’s these rare connections that are encountered that we long for and what we desire to have.  In the meantime, I can only wish goodness for him and carry on with the goodness of all that is here in this world.  Thank you for reading, such is life, and life carries on despite the good, the bad and the ugly.

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Nothing More, Nothing Less

2013

2013

Imagine waking up one morning only to realize the world is a different place.  At first glance, everything seems like a blur.

I can remember my first day here.  So there I was (seven years ago), laying on the grass and staring up into the sky.

The sun’s rays hit the ground next to me, and it’s sometime in the morning.  Somewhere there’s a bird chirping madly, as if it’s trying to warn me to leave.   A few feet to my right, sits an abandoned white trailer, and a dead skull watching me from the top.

Something about this not only feels strange, it doesn’t feel right.

How did I get here?  I better get out of here. 

My curiosity gets the best of me, and I can’t help but take a peek inside.

The opened door is an open invite to see what lurks inside.  Two donuts and a diet soda are all that’s left on the brown table inside and a refrigerator that looks untouched.  What’s even more interesting is when I touched one of the donuts, there was no texture or ability to move it.

What?  Why?

A wind slams the door shut.  Startled, I quickly leave.  I get as far away as possible and finally observe a few butterflies chasing each other.  As I get closer, I notice their chasing movement goes in the same repetition.  As I reach out to touch one, my hand has gone through one of them as if it was only air.  I felt nothing, and I caught nothing.  It’s only visible to the eye.  Soon enough, I get distracted by the sight of some water nearby.  I still remember it’s sunny out, yet I can’t feel the humidity and I’m not even sweating.  I’m shocked.  I dip my feet in the tide, yet there is no ability to feel the moisture of this water, and even after I take my feet out, there is no concept of feeling wet or dry.

Hello.  My name is Alcinia Rossini and seven years ago my journey began in a virtual existence. You may know it, you may not.  But I welcome you to my world.

It’s unclear to me how I was brought here, because I was taken from the life I once knew.  I used to only speak Italian, but when I woke up that day seven years ago, I’ve only been able to speak english.  Sometimes, I wonder if I’ll ever wake up from this dream.  I’ve come to the realization and acceptance that perhaps I’m not meant to return to my family and home back in Italy.

I’ve won some, I’ve lost some, but I’m still here, trying to make sense of it all or what my purpose for being here is, or how I even got here.    You can see me usually sitting peacefully at a low key sim, or destination as we call it, over looking the ocean, consumed by  my thoughts and experiences here, or as random as the middle of a coffee shop.

Lately, I’ve really been drawn to this abandoned Japanese tea house.  As I stumbled upon it, my curiosity got the best of me and I entered with some hesitance, and found a fireplace nicely lit, with a table already set with a rice dish with some eggs and the atmosphere was rather inviting.  It feels like being somewhere in the countryside, back in centuries old Japan.  I have a feeling, it’s going to be new favorite thinking spot for awhile.  I think the thing that made this one of my favorite places, is the stray cat that walked in at about the same time I did.  I have a soft spot for animals.

For a while, I wondered what place I had here.  After seven years, many have become accomplished with creating, building and selling things.  For others, they’ve found their niche with DJing events, singing fine tunes, and fund-raising for a good cause events.  All I’ve understood is, that the possibilities here are endless, the destinations can be breathtaking, and the connections can be powerful.  Let me add that, everything said here, is only from a one-dimensional perspective, and this does not speak for you, or the vast numbers of others existing in the same world I come from.  To each their own.  I can say that without a doubt, this place is anything but boredom.  In the beginning, I think I was chasing love.  I was addicted to it like a drug, and I could not stop scoping out certain venues, and show up on the sidelines at certain places, just hoping with each passing avatar that he might actually be ‘the one.’  We’ll get into that another day, but for now, this is only the beginning of my thought processes of what this world means to me and the random experiences that developed for me.

To put it in a nutshell, I’m absent-minded, inquisitive, genuine and full of curiosity.  And after these 7 years, the only thing I’ve been known to be good at is, being Alcinia Rossini.  Nothing more, nothing less.

I hope you will join me for the ride and stay tuned.  Thank you.