The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

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This evening, there’s a beautiful sun setting the skyline.  It’s breathtaking.  I don’t care what anyone says, but I still think nothing beats this sight, and in this moment, here in this world and in the human world.  I used to wonder so much when I’d wake up from this seven year long dream, and return to the life I once knew.  As of late, I’ve begun to just accept this fate for what it is, and that I have no control over it, and I must try to make the best of it.  Attitude is certainly everything.  I’m sitting here at this cafe, with much to ponder.  A pink lemonade with a floating lemon, waiting to be sipped on sits in front of me.  I have much to think about.  Seven years, I don’t think many can say they’ve stayed the same.  I will get into one recent experience that hasn’t seem to escape my thoughts.  It feels much like a curse, as if this is going to be a lasting memory.  Even though my mind says to let it go, my heart can’t seem to and still holds onto this memory, as if there’s some deeper meaning to it than what it is.  It’s as if I want to find out something much more complex to the experience, and a deeper hope that the outcome was much different than what had occurred.  One thing about this world is that events are still yet unpredictable, much like the human world.  Things are similar, but the only vast differences are the ways that humans have to strive for living daily.  They age, they have to eat, sleep and proceed with basic daily survival.  Here, as an avatar form, we don’t have to worry about any of that.  Sometimes, I wonder what it’s like to miss all of that, but I can’t even remember what it even means to be hungry, or feel a basic need.  Whereas here, people just appear to have food out of strange habit or a passing event, yet doesn’t even fulfill a need.  When I’ve asked others why avatars eat or drink, I get smiles and nods and change of subject.  It’s like a stupid question to ask, there’s no answer that would make sense, and it’s just something that everyone just does.

It was March 11, around 2:54 pm PDT, and I was just minding my own business, sitting and thinking as usual.  I don’t know why, but I suddenly passed along a text image of a random face to him.  Rarely does this happen, but he calls me by accident and we get into a conversation.  There’s something unusual about him, and we talk like long lost friends reconnecting.  There’s something different about him, and for days on end, spending time with him through conversations is all that matters to me.  I want nothing more than this connection, and it seems to fill that curiosity for more within me.  I don’t know how to explain this, but it’s like a satisfaction that exists in both this world and the human world.  One day, he tells me he’s sick and doesn’t feel well.  Perhaps I was over thinking, but I didn’t bother him after that.  Since that day, I have not heard from him and no attempts to contact me have been made.  It’s a rather disappointment, and I still can not seem to get this experience out of me.  It leaves me understanding that on a basic level, it’s these rare connections that are encountered that we long for and what we desire to have.  In the meantime, I can only wish goodness for him and carry on with the goodness of all that is here in this world.  Thank you for reading, such is life, and life carries on despite the good, the bad and the ugly.

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